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Slip Mahoney Malaprops
Slip Mahoney style malaprops - from The Bowery Boys movies...

That's a clever seduction.

I depreciate it.

It's an optical delusion.

always jumping to seclusion's.

derailing my train of thought.

that's a finger of speech.

you misinterpret my indications.

..and he has lot's more  Cool
A baseball player called Yogi Berra was a good one saying lots of 'yogi-isms' like:
As a general comment on life: "90 percent of baseball is mental; the other half is physical."
On why he no longer went to Rigazzi's, a St. Louis restaurant: "Nobody goes there anymore. It's too crowded."
"It ain't over till it's over." In July 1973, Berra's Mets trailed the Chicago Cubs by 9½ games in the National League East. The Mets rallied to clinch the division title in their second-to-last game of the regular season, and eventually, reach the World Series.
When giving directions to Joe Garagiola to his New Jersey home, which was accessible by two routes: "When you come to a fork in the road, take it."
At Yogi Berra Day at Sportsman Park in St. Louis: "Thank you for making this day necessary."
"It's déjà vu all over again." Berra explained that this quote originated when he witnessed Mickey Mantle and Roger Maris repeatedly hitting back-to-back home runs in the Yankees' seasons in the early 1960s.
"You can observe a lot by watching."
"Always go to other people's funerals; otherwise they won't go to yours."
"I really didn't say everything I said."
"A nickel ain't worth a dime anymore"
These quotations are wonderful. It's attributed to Ronald Reagan (or was it Ronald McDonald?) but applied to some form of governmental catastrophe - "If Winston Churchill was alive, he'd turn in his grave", which would almost certainly be true.

As we can't escape the man - though slightly off-definition - there's a great story about Churchill from World War 2, involving the manufacturer of Durex, the London Rubber Company. The government of Russia placed an order for 1,000 x gross boxes (144,000) condoms, 400mm long and 200mm round. They were to protect 65mm shells stored outdoors in the bad weather. The London Rubber Company decided to consult the British government about an export licence, given the shortage of rubber and any possible political complications, and the ultimate decision was the Prime Minister's (Churchill). Somewhat amused, Churchill rang the Export Director of the company, who explained that non-standard manufacture was relatively simple and the price would be extremely lucrative, so Churchill gave his verbal instructions, to be confirmed in writing. "Here's what you do," he said. "Accept the order with the maximum price you can agree. Set your machines....make them to order....and mark each one: Made in England. Medium Size."
"It will take time to restore chaos and order."

"I am mindful not only of preserving executive powers for myself, but for predecessors as well."

- George W. Bush

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